(An old one)
an oldest friend
Calm me in the photographs so they finally get a real smile out of me
How can you do this to me,
And I don't even love you.
Comfort gained its meaning sitting with you
Television backdrop to our own thoughts
Just being there for someone to listen
Rainy days
Freezing nights
The next best thing to being alone
Holding on to funeral memories like holding hands
And we don't know when and whether it makes sense at all
Driving home from high school days seemed so long ago
Now we frequent city streets in anything but silence,
being anything but boisterous.
God damn, the things I've said to you
Damn, the words you've spoken to me
But I find myself sitting on your couch and remembering,
A friendship that makes people ask questions,
And we always answer in the negative but casual, and smiling
We shake our heads and turn back to the music and find another glass of beer.
Letting me tell my stories until I wear out my voice,
And you try to tolerate my forgetfulness.
 let you stay silent or rant
And try to tolerate your negativity
My baseless idealism and your baseless anger
The dreams resulting combination make me laugh and roll my eyes
Thinking sometime we should be stuck in the past,
But all we do seems to imply
utter moving on
Leaves tossed up past my window
It doesn't matter that you would refuse the beauty in this.
We don't understand each other
to the point of curiosity and not always passing over
some kind of momentary hatred
But you care if I have a headache
And you kiss my cheek hello and goodbye
with some kinda distant compassion
And though I laugh when you try to be strong, too I sigh.
I wonder what you see
When you look at me,
And I wrote because I wonder
what I feel
When I write about you.
(April 2004)

New Practice/More Alive

New Practice
We sit and listen
really
Listen.
We fold hands together,
tuck tissues away into pockets and sleeves,
stand with each other
facing the fires.
We do not cradle,
stroke,
or soothe.
We hear the message,
affirm its present and past.
We solve problems
by letting them fully be
so that we can Fully Be
in this new world that has always
been
here.
We open up.
We share chairs
a couch,
blankets,
our sadnesses,
dreams.
We walk into the wide open night
a bit more fearless
than the hour before.
We stride into
the bright blooming dawn
just a bit
clearer
lighter
Alive.
--
CBF Nov. 8, 2013